What I Got Wrong About Leadership

Every once in a while, it’s worth asking a simple question:

What have I changed my mind about?

I’ve been thinking about leadership, something I’ve written about before, and while most of the principles still hold, my understanding of them has evolved.

I used to think leadership was mostly about encouragement. Creating the right culture and environment. Helping people grow. And I still believe that.

But I kind of got it wrong in how different leadership looks when things aren’t going great.

It’s easy to be a collaborative, supportive leader when the business is performing and the team has momentum.

It’s a lot harder when results are off, pressure is building, and decisions carry more weight.

We know we have a strong team, good people, and lots of discussion. Everyone is contributing, but things are not moving fast enough and there is not enough clarity around priorities and outcomes.

That’s when it hit me.

Culture matters. Environment matters. But it’s not enough.

Leadership also requires clarity.
It requires decisiveness.
And sometimes it requires making a call that not everyone will agree with.

I didn’t fully appreciate that balance early on.

Too much collaboration without direction creates confusion.
Too much direction without collaboration shuts people down.

The real work is knowing when to lean in, and when to step back.

Another thing I’ve learned is that leadership rarely shows up in big, dramatic moments.

It shows up in the small ones.

A conversation you choose to have instead of avoiding.
A piece of feedback you deliver honestly.
A decision you make a little sooner than feels comfortable.

I had a situation not long ago where I let something linger; an issue I knew needed to be addressed. I told myself I was giving it time. Worse, I started to rationalize the issue, telling myself, wrongly, that maybe it was not really a big deal. I was simply avoiding the discomfort of dealing with it head on, without judgment.

When I finally dealt with it, it was straightforward. Constructive. And long overdue.

That was a good reminder. Small delays can turn into big problems.

I also used to think consistency meant showing up the same way every day.

Now I think it means something different.

Consistency is about being grounded in your values, not your mood.

People don’t need you to be the same every day.
They need to know what you stand for, especially when things get uncomfortable.

And maybe the biggest shift for me has been this:

Leadership is less about having the answers, and more about being willing to think about the questions a little longer.

Earlier in my career, I felt pressure to respond quickly. To solve. To move things forward.

But I’ve learned that some of the best outcomes come from slowing down just enough to let other perspectives in. To ask one more question. To listen a bit more carefully.

Not having all the answers isn’t a weakness.

It’s often where the best answers come from.

So, what did I get wrong about leadership?

I thought creating the right environment was enough.
I thought encouragement would carry the day.
I thought consistency meant sameness.

What I’ve learned is that leadership is a balance.

Support and accountability.
Listening and deciding.
Patience and urgency.

You don’t figure it out once.

You adjust.
You learn.
You get a little better.

And “better”… is still good.

Sincerely,

Doug Dougherty

Executive Chair